While walking around Cartagena today I was exposed to the horrors of the third world. The day started off as a lovely Sunday. We had completely explored the old city, which is the touristy part of town, so Phil and I decided to see some of the real Cartagena. It was a decision that would change both of our lives forever. We walked outside of the old city walls and for the first few blocks everything was fine. Then we turned a corner and came face to face with the crushing poverty of this uncivilized nation.
Hundreds of children were packed into a large grass field. Because of their extreme poverty they were forced to spend their Sunday afternoon, with their families, outside, running around while they attempted to fly brightly colored handmade kites into the air on the breeze that swept across the field from the nearby sea. These impoverished youths obviously didn’t even have enough money for the basic necessities of life like Xboxes, Nintendo DS’s and iPhones so they were forced to spend this sunny afternoon in such a pathetic way. There were literally hundreds of children running around this primitive field next to a four hundred year old castle. They were laughing, smiling, interacting with each other and tiring out their tiny muscles. The worst part is that they clearly thought that their behavior was normal. They thought they were happy, but the sad reality is that they had never played Angry Birds and had never been on Facebook so they had never known true happiness. At that moment I realized why God had sent me to this country. I must make a difference and that is why I am starting my charity, The Xboxes for Colombia Foundation.
I spent about an hour quietly crying and watching Colombia’s youth waste their lives and then I realized that the situation was actually much worse than I originally thought. It dawned on me that every single child was pathetically malnourished. As I watched them sprint around the warm Colombian afternoon with their rainbow colored kites floating aloft in the bright blue sky I could see that none of them had the healthy pot bellies or double chins that are common in children from the civilized parts of the world. At this point I decided that Xboxes are not enough to save the youth of Colombia. They also need bacon double cheese burgers. It is a truly herculean undertaking but the goal of my charity, The Xboxes and Double Bacon Cheese Burgers for Colombia Foundation, is to get every child in Colombia an Xbox and at least two double bacon cheese burgers a day. I doubt that this will be enough to make the children of Colombia as healthy as those in America, but it is a start.
As you can see there is much work to be done down here. I spent another hour crying, praying and watching the terrible scene and then once again I noticed yet another awful condition affecting these poor young souls. As they ran around shouting, jumping and laughing it became painfully clear that they all had severe cases of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. They never sat still for even a second. The ones that were not flying kites covered in bright metallic streamers were chasing some type of ball around the field. They would catch up to this ball and then kick it and run after it again. Undoubtedly some horrible tropical madness, most likely brought on by over exposure to the sun and Caribbean air, had possessed them. I realized that the problems of this primitive nation were much greater than I originally thought and that I would have to expand my foundation’s mission again. Please donate now to The Xboxes, Double Bacon Cheese Burgers and Adderall for Colombia Foundation.
Unfortunately a prescription medication as cutting edge and effective as Adderall is very expensive; thankfully the good people at Shire Pharmaceuticals have decided to help. For every new prescription of Adderall that is filled in the United States, Shire Pharmaceuticals will donate one to the children of Colombia. I realize that times are tough in America so if you can’t donate money to The Xboxes, Double Bacon Cheese Burgers and Adderall for Colombia Foundation, the least you can do is take your children to the doctor and get them a prescription for Adderall. You will be helping your children and also the deprived children down here.
It has been a long hard day and our work has just begun. The memory of those poor souls running and laughing with their family and friends in the bright tropical sun as their pastel kites floated into the crystal blue sky on the Caribbean breeze will haunt my dreams forever, but with your help we can bring this type of barbarism to an end once and for all. Please donate today.